Should you give your preteen privacy?

There is a growing debate surrounding the preteens solitude. Today, mass media makes it tough to control what affects your child imbibes. Additionally, technology provides the world countless methods of reaching your child. Beyond phones and snail mail, today they have cellphones, email, Animal In Attic Removal Cost, instant messaging and the internet! We parents can’t help but be concerned about exactly what our children are up to.
Now, reconcile this with your preteen. In case you have a child between the ages of nine and twelve, you must be feeling the challenges of parenting that is senile. Free stock photo of person, girl, jeans, shoesSuddenly, your child doesn’t wish to be treated as her younger siblings. She needs more freedom, and is starting to ask for more privacy. She’s greatly influenced by her peers, and would like to spend as much time together as possible. If she is in middle school, then nearly half of her waking time is spent outside your home. She’s also building friendships with other kids that you didn’t know from before.
All those years earlier, you carefully molded and ready your child for engaging the world by herself. Now, the preteen years are here for a test run. The question is, are you ready to trust your kid?
Most parents say, “I trust my kid, but I don’t trust the world”. That’s valid. Your first concern is always for her security. However, recognize too that your child is also blossoming into her own person. Her request for privacy is not always a step away from you. Rather, it is a step toward her own development.
So, how much privacy does your preteen deserve? Here is the win-win answer. She should have just enough privacy to feel protected, and only enough for you to keep her safe.
Set The Non-Negotiables: Sit down with your child and talk about the balance between her privacy and her protection. Together, list down details which you agree are always important for you to know. This includes knowing who her friends are, where they live and what their telephone numbers are (particularly if she spends time in their house). You’ll also need to understand everyday details like where she is going and who she will be with. Clearly establish what’s not allowed from the outset. This may vary from one family to another, based upon personal values and the environment.
Give Her Space: Still ironic, realize that your preteen still needs some privacy even when she does live in your property. When it’s not a non-negotiable, respect her space. Better to give her room for self-expression there, rather than having her go and do it somewhere else away from you. At least there, you’re kept aware even from a distance. More often than not anyway, your child doesn’t have anything to hide. But if she feels you always looking over her shoulder (literally and figuratively), she just might begin leaving her diary at school, or begin going to a friend’s home for the world wide web. Don’t give her a reason to keep things from you deliberately.
Talk About Trust: Discuss with your child the important role of mutual confidence in the preteen stage. Point out that privacy is guarded by trust. Remind her too that confidence is hard earned. Once it’s broken, it’s even harder to regain. Lastly, remember that the point of the discussion is mutual confidence. It is a two-way street.
Be Open: Above all, let your child know that she can speak with you about anything. Make her feel safe to approach you with any issue or concern. When she does speak, listen neutrally and sincerely. If at other times she keeps her emotions to herself, respect that decision too.
Recognizing the privacy and ensuring the safety of your preteen can be quite an emotional balancing act. With good communication however, and a mutual commitment to trust, you’ll not only be a responsible parent, but a ‘cool’ one too!
Throughout your child’s preteen phases, many changes are happening. If you, as a parent, fail to go along with this, big troubles may just happen. But you can not afford to just butt in and meddle with your pre-teen’s life – because that’s where the problem really starts.

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